Mom by day, Equity Activist....Also by Day

Have you ever struggled with "naming" yourself and what you do? Recently I presented this quandary to my mastermind. "What do I call myself in three words or less? I am a speaker, trainer, author, podcaster, executive coach, and documentary subject. How do I say alllll that in a concise way?"

And my friend Sage B. Hobbs immediately responded with much-needed clarity. "You are an equity activist who uses many mediums to do her work." And that phrase! Equity Activist. Yes! That lit my whole soul up. 

It's wild how our brains want us to organize into neatly organized compartments. Most of the time I'm able to work in multiple silos without feeling scattered. But the more I network and have to introduce myself to powerful people quickly and succinctly, I've yearned for clear words that get the message across.

I am Elena Joy and I am an Equity Activist. My mission is to save lives by opening hearts and minds to what inclusion truly means. I use my experience of living in an ultra-conservative, traditional-value culture, to reach people in a judgment-free way and inspire them to a bigger, more fulfilling way to live their one wild life.

Until I was 37, I was the world's most ardent Mormon. My identity was either Mom or "Sister Thurston". I fought loud battles to "protect the sanctity of marriage" and "safeguard our children's virtues". I was deep in the trap of judging the entire world for their lack of morals. We know where this is going right?

I was so judgy of everyone in my life, because I thoroughly judged myself. Frankly, I hated myself and that came out in some pretty awful ways.

At 37, as a mom of 4, the truth became undeniable. I was in love and attracted to my best friend, yes a woman. In order to not lose my spot in heaven that I had worked so hard for, I enrolled myself in conversion therapy. I went four days a week, two hours a day, for six months. I had no idea that the suicide rate for the practice is 58%. (yes, it's legal in all states for an adult to participate in this practice.)

I was ready to end my life and I now realize it was my privilege that landed me in the office of a life saving doctor that day in 2017.

That day I made the choice that it was better for my kids to have a gay mom than a dead mom. And I chose to stay.

And so began my journey on the path of an Equity Activist.